Stupid buttons. When I hide an ad, Facebook asks me what’s the problem and gives me choices like “knows too much”. Quite the Freudian slip, Facebook. Why would they “know too much?” Because you sell my data? Are you wanting us to tell you that your data leaks are too on the nose? Also, why does my app ask me if something’s wrong when I shake my phone? Like, wtf is Facebook gonna do anyway? I’m over here having a heart attack or I’m in a car accident and Facebook is going to… what? Every ad can be considered “repetitive” since I see one every 2 posts (TikTok is 1 ad every 8 posts), “too personal” sounds like “knows too much”, irrelevant could also apply as much as repetitive, sensitive topic… hmm. How about choices like “offensive” “this company sucks” “false advertising”, “fake vendor” or something consumers would actually say.
The marketplace sucks. It’s like if Wish had a baby with Goodwill. It’s like if Amazon didn’t vet their vendors. It’s full of fake accounts and scammers and the quality of items is pretty subpar. False advertising, bullshit claims. Just be social media. I don't need Black Label Alpha Brain!
Boomers took over and young people entering the social media space are not choosing Facebook first. The future of social networking then is not Facebook. But have fun arguing if vaccines are real with your racist uncle.
Facebook lets you be negative. What other platform can you laugh react to a serious topic? On other platforms, you either like it or you scroll, but on Facebook, you can laugh at a tragedy, show anger when a marginalized group finally gets justice, and just generally be toxic about everything. Toxicity sells.
Goats and the theft of intellectual property. Imagine creating a page for content and in the process of building out the staff of admins to help you manage your page and one of them turns out to be a fake account who removes your access and changes the content of the page. Goating a page, changing a conservative page to a liberal one, or just stealing someone’s work, enabled through convincing one admin to grant access. Happens countless times. Ask Eric.
Facebook deleted the satire Joe Biden page. I spent a year on that, and it’s fine, because I didn’t like making fun of him anyway, but still, it’s pretty shitty.
I can’t make polls anymore. They were poorly-thought-out binary questions which created hilariously flawed question/answer combos like satire Trump asking “I am…” and the choices are “a great president” and “the greatest president of all time” Boo. Flawed questions are hilarious and it would make for better content if they brought them back.
Harassment, Bullying, and Stalking. People get your data from Facebook pretty easily and sometimes start showing up places they shouldn’t be after they peruse your whole life and make deductions about you and where you’ll be. After you block someone, they are still in your group chats. You can leave but Facebook lets them create alternate accounts to harass you.
Facebook satire. Facebook allows some of the most disgusting views to be spewed on their platform, but when someone uses satire to skewer the disparity between what people say and what they do, or draw highlight to the absurdity of following poor logic to its conclusions, or to speak to truth to power, it gets shut down.
Ghost bans. Restricting the audience reach of certain content creator pages without explaining or formally punishing, all because Facebook doesn’t have the resources to check the quality of the claims against creators. Spam bots can essentially remove pages from existence by surgical reporting of harassment, nudity, or other offensive material where it does not actually exist.
Your dating app. Pls stop.
Fake accounts. Most of the comments on Facebook seem to be by fake accounts. The whole platform feels like businesses selling shit and their employees pretending to be satisfied customers.
Boost? The post I just made reached 1.5M people, but you’re saying that if I boost this post for $1,000, you’ll show it to another 50K people. The mere fact that you think that’s a bargain shows the level of disconnect, but more so, to what end? Why would I ever spend $1,000 to promote a joke I gave away for free? A joke Facebook sold ads on, and if it reached more people, would benefit Facebook, not me. I don’t make more money when a post does better, I am the one creating the content. Why do you get my money on top of the ad money? That makes no sense. “If you spend your money, we reach more people with our ads that pay us and not you. Deal?” Haha. No.
Facebook sells ads on the content you make and pays you nothing. How is this legal. Seriously, can we get a class action up in here?
Radical groups. Facebook groups have become a networking tool for radicals, white nationalists, and domestic terrorists to create mass movements in places like Charlottesville and the US Capitol.
Keyboard heroes. Facebook has created a subculture of bullies who have cult followings and bot armies to create a hostile world for anyone they choose, and has built up a generation of basement-dwelling trolls and virtue-signalers to constantly show the world how disappointed they are in everyone else and how they are above reproach while ironically being so disconnected from any real interaction in the world.
Ads. Way too many ads. And when I hide an ad, it seems like it never hides. Like, I scroll down literally 2 spots and there’s another one. Just like it. Is that what Facebook is now? Just a bunch of ads?
You can’t reach your own audience. Got 100,000 followers? 1M? Cool. Good luck reaching them without paying Facebook even more. You’ll be lucky to hit 5% of your audience in their newsfeed, and that will be stacked with countless ads that pay Facebook and not you. They want you to keep generating content tho.
Canceled. Facebook cancels pages all the time because someone reported it, but when you dispute it, they immediately tell you they don’t have the staff to check these things “because of COVID”. Way to phone in your excuses, Facebook.
Facebook shares your data.
Memories don’t let you delete them half the time. Want to delete something cringeworthy you posted 10 years ago about that sweet old lady’s unkept yard? Well suck it, because “oops, something went wrong and we’re working to fix it” and you can’t delete your rude comment about Ethel, even though you found out it was because she had cancer and couldn’t get out to her lawn anymore, and now you look like an asshole every June 28th.
Facebook started with family connections, basically the last people you want to see on Facebook, because their judgement of you matters. So where you had privacy and discretion, you now have every thought the boomer class has on gas prices, the weather, and the burgers everyone is sheepishly leaning over in the photo you made the server take of your table at Texas de Brazil.
Echo chambers. Imagine the long term effects, 10-15 years worth, of following content that reinforces your beliefs and unfollowing content that doesn’t. Pretty quickly, you arrive in a bubble where facts don’t matter, because everyone around agrees with you, and that feels good. The likes add up, people cheer you on, and a pack mentality emerges.
Crushing dissent. Facebook will limit your articles, posts, and comments (this article will absolutely be restricted) without saying a word. Just turn your dial down and suddenly you’re speaking to an empty room. Not shut down. Just surgically silenced. You must not offend the Facebook, it’s silenced more people than the Catholic Church.
Facebook owes you nothing. Sure, your content got them here, but what can you do for them now? Reaching 200M people is in the past. You need to create video content so they can compete with TikTok, a far superior algorithm with way less ads and none of my extended family peeping my every move like your creepy uncle Mark.
Events. Want to attend something? Why not tell the world? Who knows who you might meet there? This is why celebrities don’t use Facebook. Like the whole platform was built for stalkers.
Reporting to whom? It seems like the reporting system isn’t hooked up. Also, Facebook is basically an unregulated telecommunications company that sensors and moderates a global population without oversight, but mostly the part about how you report a problem and that just goes into space. *shakes phone*
Fake narratives. The meta effect of Facebook’s pay-to-play is a fake conversation, a national narrative that reflects the opinions of people with money, and marginalizes people who don’t pay Facebook, so the things you hear discussed aren’t the best ideas, they are just the conversations companies are paying to have in front of you, as though any of it is real, fact-checked, approved by the FDA or even skimmed by an intern.
Facebook buys or copies the competition. What are reels? Why are TikTok videos replete through Facebook reels? Why is Instagram also Facebook? Facebook buys out competitors or just straight up steals content from rivals like TikTok, and are about as innovative as Elon Musk. Success is measured in stock value and their misrepresented number of users that represent their inflated value.
Suggested for you. I didn’t follow these pages, but just like the ads, they’ve taken over. My feed is basically a curated list of ads you think I’ll buy and pages you think I’ll like. But because your marketplace items suck, your vendors aren’t trustworthy, and your ads aren’t close to anything I would buy, I’m essentially using Facebook to follow the UFC and run my satire Trump page. It’s Facebook.com/thetotallyrealdonaldtrump
Messenger spam. Have you looked in your messenger inbox lately? Not the normal one, the message requests you-may-know and spam folders. Wow. Just peruse through that toxic river of nonsense. Gross men, Nigerian scammers, random conservatives telling you you’re the real cancer in America because of your liberal beliefs, and some, I assume, are good people.
Marked safe. Facebook’s way of making any tragedy about you. Earthquake, shooting, or flooding that isn’t happening to you? Start a conversation with your family and coworkers about how this isn’t happening to you! How is spamming the platform with “I’m safe” messages help those who aren’t?
Power corrupts. Facebook hasn’t had any competition until very recently with TikTok, but for the last decade, they used their near-absolute power to show us who they really are. Divisive fraudulent arbiters of our data and speech.
Fake lives. The stories people tell on Facebook are basically limited to our best sides, and more often than not, a complete bullshit story of who you’re talking to. Yeah, his profile says he’s distinguished but you’re being lectured by an Uber driver who cleans pools during the week. Some dude who can’t keep a job or create a meaningful relationship, but lectures you about life from the safety of his keyboard. Always so “disappointed” at how people can’t see how unpatriotic they really are all while giving two shits about his actual neighbors. The real people around. Trolls hiding in their homes, no one to love them, broken from their failed parents, brash and triggering, offensive and condescending, toxic and oblivious to how the world really sees them: a joke. The kings of their own pretend worlds.
The premise. Just the idea that social media should be centered around who you know is ridiculous. TikTok starts with what you like. Who gives a shit about your racist aunt and uncle in West Virginia? I’d rather read the NYT and watch people be entertaining. Right? I don’t need to virtue signal. I want to be entertained, aroused, enlightened, and improved in some way, by mood, finance, or knowledge, my life is made better and my data more secure. And stop trying to sell me shit. I have Amazon for that. Instacart. Door dash. Just be social media and stop trying to be the internet Walmart.
Facebook connects small town mentality. Any platform that doesn’t attract the youths will die and thus is not the future, and not many new people are coming to Facebook. So this is as good as it gets. This. Boomers arguing about vaccines, everyone pretending their vacays are legitimate content, and an endless stream of absurd ads followed by supportive comments from fake accounts.
Censorship. The way Facebook limits your reach until you pay them is censorship meets unregulated capitalism. I’m not even talking about how they limit speech, I mean how you can’t even access your own audience without essentially a pay wall.
A bad deal. The hallmark of a good deal is that both parties win. Facebook makes profit all about them. Whether it’s selling your data, stealing your content, or throwing ads in your stream that only benefit them.
Mark is distracted thinking he can create the metaverse, but he is a little out of touch. First of all, the metaverse will be built when A. a game is built with an “infinity” feature that generates new world based on an algorithm, B. that game is made free to access on an independent server farm of quantum computers, and C. activities are built in that people actually want to do (FPS, adventuring, social networking, building permanent items they then own like houses, vehicles, and weapons, finding collectibles, crafting wardrobe, collecting trophies, visiting other player properties, with a built in cryptocurrency system in game that funds development through purchases in game, as well as work performed, such as finding/making new world (by walking past the known world into new territory) and building and selling items, reaching audiences, entertaining masses represented by avatars customized by the users, and other important metrics, but frankly, Microsoft and Activision will beat Facebook to it, because Mark thinks people want to put on goggles and slice glowing boxes like he’s playing Tron Fruit Ninja.
Mark Zuckerberg might actually be good at MMA. We need Mark Zuckerberg engaged for Facebook to succeed, but unfortunately, now the cage is his new love. Watch out for Mark “The Ban Hammer” Zuckerberg!
update 9.29.2022: 20 days after posting this article, Facebook seems to be fixing some of these issues. After 7 years of shutting me out from payments, Facebook finally let me apply to "receive stars", a way for fans to pay me directly. That doesn't make up for the years of free content I've given Facebook to float their ads, but if this application is approved, this could be a step in the right direction, or ir could be a few measly dollars that amount to lip service, but whatever. It's progress, and I gotta give Facebook credit... for the moment. Maybe. It's not approved yet.