Washington, D.C. -
Donald Trump was suddenly rushed offstage by the Secret Service after spotting several women in the front row of his rally. Secret Service sources say that given Trump's propensity to grab genitals, Secret Service agents had to take additional measures to protect women from Trump by ensuring they aren't allowed within grabbing distance, and certainly not the front row anywhere near Trump while he is speaking.
"We are primarily focused on protecting American citizens from Donald Trump" a spokesperson noted, "there's no way to know how many of them he would have grabbed."
Sources inside the Trump campaign say they initially thought Trump was being approached by a mob of new accusers. "All I saw was a bunch of women near Donald Trump and the Secret Service grabbed him and shielded those women from him. They were very brave. Those heroes did their job tonight", said Keith Schiller, Donald Trump's bodyguard of 16 years.
The White House is already pushing back stating that Hillary Clinton must have been behind this event. "Those women didn't come here to support Donald Trump. Why would they be there?" argued Kellyanne Conway. "Seriously, why would any women be there?"