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Republicans Approve New Gun Restrictions

Washington D.C. -

Republican lawmakers have long been vehemently opposed to any type of gun legislation, whether it be a ban on assault rifles, high capacity magazines, or even mental health screenings, but today marks what appears to be a significant shift in the party's thinking.

"We can no longer stand by and allow this gun problem to grow", said Republican Congressman Louie Gohmert (TX). "That's why we have introduced a bill that curbs the gun related insanity we are seeing today."

H.R. 10215 addresses a number of key issues important to Republicans, the first of which is that if a woman keeps a gun in her vagina, she cannot abort that concealed carry weapon. Lawmakers aim to force the woman to keep the weapon in her vagina until she is ready to use it. The bill also strips funding for any type of exams or treatment necessary while the gun is in her vagina and even requires in cases of abortions, "the fetus must also be armed and have an equal opportunity to defend itself, even if it doesn't have limbs or a working brain."

The second item in the bill addresses "gay guns" and prohibits any gay couples from getting weapons after they're married. Congressman Gohmert noted this was a conservation act in that "we only have so many licenses to go around. You either get a gun license or a gay marriage license, but not both. The handouts have got to stop."


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