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Donald Trump Pardons Himself, Claims Total Exoneration


Donald Trump broke with precedent today by not only issuing a pardon so early in his presidency, but by issuing that pardon to himself covering “all crimes (that I totally didn’t commit, by the way) that I may have committed or even been accused, especially by the Democrats (who are still upset about losing an election) who can’t accept that the Mueller Report totally exonerated me (which is why I don’t even need this full and complete pardon in the first place)”. Trump continued by saying that “Pence would have pardoned me anyway, so this just makes everything easier because I don’t have to resign first.”

White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders declined to answer questions related to pardons for Trump’s family and co-conspirators, but the president hinted later on Twitter that he would be issuing pardons to those who were loyal to him saying, “Watch our for me, friends, and I’ll watch out for you, and I have more power to do that than anyone. And just so you know, loyalty is very important to me. Ask my debtors and my wives. They’ll tell you. It’s actually Hillary Clinton that never pays her debts or honors her oaths!”


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