Op-Ed by Donald J Trump -
America is great again. You’re welcome. I could not have accomplished this unless I went alone, and I am winning at everything, you know that. I’m winning on trade, I’m winning on jobs, I’m winning at military, and I really believe that the American people see how much winning we are doing that they almost feel like they need a restraining order on winning.
I built the wall. Win. They said I couldn’t do it. Now there is a big beautiful wall of slats and a bunch of broke people looking through... but they can’t climb very well, so they just wander around like zombies looking into America and wishing they could come in and feed on our grains.
I won the trade war. That shit was crazy. I put myself in for a couple of medals. I launched so many tariffs at our American corporations, the farmers never knew what hit them!
I won at jobs. Barack Obama lost all our jobs. I got them back. Other Mexican countries were taking our best jobs and throwing our employees in the trunks of their cars with duck tape over their mouths so nobody could hear them scream. But I went all Taken 3 and got them back for America.
I won at military. The troops love me. I went to Iraq for a couple hours once. They acted like I was Elvis. I’ve taken a lot of photos with generals. They really respect me.
In summary, America is Great Again. You’re welcome.